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Steamed Vegetables

February 23rd, 2016 Comments off

Continuing on with the Steam playthrough, I played two horrible games this round.

Game #8: Postal

When Postal came out, it was heavily criticized for being basically a ‘murder’ game.  This is entirely accurate.

The Steam version I played didn’t work properly during any of my time, and it’s a little difficult to play a keyboard game when you’re used to mouse-clickers.  Also, I couldn’t actually find the keyboard controls anywhere within the game menus, so I had to improvise.  Having said that, I started a new game and found myself outside a house in the woods.  I had a machine gun with unlimited ammo and a bunch of police were shooting and throwing grenades at me.  There were also innocent bystanders running around, but the graphics are so dated I couldn’t really understand who to shoot and who not to shoot.  This might have been a design purpose, but I don’t know.  The ticker at the top of the game screen shows how many people are left alive (population), and once I subdued all of them, nothing happened.  I was just left to run around the one level with nowhere to go.  This was frustrating, so I quit for a little while.  I came back and tried again with the same results.  I honestly don’t know how to progress to the next level, or even if there are any more levels.  So, I have to say that Postal wasn’t very good.

Game #9: Monaco-

The second game I played wasn’t very good because it’s online.  The game is a top-down collection game that throws information in front of you in helpful popups that disappear almost immediately, especially if you are playing with people who already know what to do and where to go.

I played through a few levels, I guess?  Other players just kept hopping in and out, and I wasn’t really enjoying my time with the game.  From what I gathered while I played, the game is about four criminals who must escape from prison and pull a big heist.  The gameplay didn’t really feel like this was the actual point of the game and the scoring system didn’t support this as the point of the game either.  I collected coins, avoided prison guards, picked a few locks, and then escaped.  On the next level, I grabbed a shotgun, but couldn’t figure out how to shoot or aim it.  The third level I played encompassed the entirety of my play experience: I followed some guy who got all the coins and opened all the doors before I could do anything while a third player followed me.  After that, I was basically done with the game.  The artwork was a little old-school, and I normally like bitmap artwork, but the confusion and always online didn’t help me feel better or bring me back to play again.

Other information:

Did you hear Activision Blizzard BOUGHT King, the developers of Candy Crush Saga?  That would be crazy, but the price was $5.9 billion.  If your eyes didn’t pop out of your skull at that point, you might already be dead.  I never received my chocolate ghost in Destiny, so I’m basically done with the game right now.  My normal routine was to play on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday for a few hours with some an hour or so on Monday or Tuesday.  Now I am down to just Friday for an hour as I am just so disappointed that I won’t get a 320 ghost.  Time for more games, right!?  On the Division, I have to point out that I loved the pistol ammo was unlimited.  With the skill I selected, my character pulled out a bullet shield and a pistol, and I ran through many encounters with just my pistol, firing endless bullets.  I’m sure my accuracy is terrible.  The Division at least got that right, along with the wonderful graphics.

I also played a ton more of Critter Crunch, as I love rainbow vomit: