critter crunch | All Posts

Steamed Vegetables

February 23rd, 2016 Comments off

Continuing on with the Steam playthrough, I played two horrible games this round.

Game #8: Postal

When Postal came out, it was heavily criticized for being basically a ‘murder’ game.  This is entirely accurate.

The Steam version I played didn’t work properly during any of my time, and it’s a little difficult to play a keyboard game when you’re used to mouse-clickers.  Also, I couldn’t actually find the keyboard controls anywhere within the game menus, so I had to improvise.  Having said that, I started a new game and found myself outside a house in the woods.  I had a machine gun with unlimited ammo and a bunch of police were shooting and throwing grenades at me.  There were also innocent bystanders running around, but the graphics are so dated I couldn’t really understand who to shoot and who not to shoot.  This might have been a design purpose, but I don’t know.  The ticker at the top of the game screen shows how many people are left alive (population), and once I subdued all of them, nothing happened.  I was just left to run around the one level with nowhere to go.  This was frustrating, so I quit for a little while.  I came back and tried again with the same results.  I honestly don’t know how to progress to the next level, or even if there are any more levels.  So, I have to say that Postal wasn’t very good.

Game #9: Monaco-

The second game I played wasn’t very good because it’s online.  The game is a top-down collection game that throws information in front of you in helpful popups that disappear almost immediately, especially if you are playing with people who already know what to do and where to go.

I played through a few levels, I guess?  Other players just kept hopping in and out, and I wasn’t really enjoying my time with the game.  From what I gathered while I played, the game is about four criminals who must escape from prison and pull a big heist.  The gameplay didn’t really feel like this was the actual point of the game and the scoring system didn’t support this as the point of the game either.  I collected coins, avoided prison guards, picked a few locks, and then escaped.  On the next level, I grabbed a shotgun, but couldn’t figure out how to shoot or aim it.  The third level I played encompassed the entirety of my play experience: I followed some guy who got all the coins and opened all the doors before I could do anything while a third player followed me.  After that, I was basically done with the game.  The artwork was a little old-school, and I normally like bitmap artwork, but the confusion and always online didn’t help me feel better or bring me back to play again.

Other information:

Did you hear Activision Blizzard BOUGHT King, the developers of Candy Crush Saga?  That would be crazy, but the price was $5.9 billion.  If your eyes didn’t pop out of your skull at that point, you might already be dead.  I never received my chocolate ghost in Destiny, so I’m basically done with the game right now.  My normal routine was to play on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday for a few hours with some an hour or so on Monday or Tuesday.  Now I am down to just Friday for an hour as I am just so disappointed that I won’t get a 320 ghost.  Time for more games, right!?  On the Division, I have to point out that I loved the pistol ammo was unlimited.  With the skill I selected, my character pulled out a bullet shield and a pistol, and I ran through many encounters with just my pistol, firing endless bullets.  I’m sure my accuracy is terrible.  The Division at least got that right, along with the wonderful graphics.

I also played a ton more of Critter Crunch, as I love rainbow vomit:

Let the Steaming commence!

February 11th, 2016 Comments off

For those of you following along at home, I have 372 games in my Steam library that I have NEVER PLAYED.  Well, I am going to spend some time every day trying to play through some of those games.  This is the documentary of that endeavor.

 

Game #1: Banished

I know I said I would start with the letter ‘A’, but that was a lie.  I’ve always like the look of Banished, so I thought a simple city-building strategy game would be first on my list.  I always liked SimCity, and simulation games in general.  I spent about a half hour going through the very thorough tutorial system.

I loved the idea of creating a little town and seeing if my people would survive.  As I started playing the actual game (on Medium difficulty), it started raining.  Basically it would rain every few hours on my poor people.  The first step was to get a house so they had a roof over their heads.  To build a house, I needed them to cut down some trees.  So, I sent my poor people, who have ended up exiled to a new land, out into the woods.  They were hungry and cold, but they powered through and I built them a house.  However, I also wanted to build a bridge, because they looked so pretty in the screenshots I had seen.  So I set them to build a bridge as well as a house.  Then I had them collect rocks to make streets.  Then I realized I had no builders, so I assigned my new flock to build the magnificent streets, house, and bridge.  I played a little longer than my allotted hour, but I had a prosperous community who would all die from starvation long before they would build another house.

 

Game #2: Critter Crunch

I had played a demo of this game a while back, and I bought it.  Now, I’ve finally played the real game.  It’s hilarious.  You control a little creature (called Biggs), who uses his tongue to grab smaller creatures and feed them to larger creatures in order to generate jewels, which Biggs lovingly regurgitates in rainbow fountains to his son, Smalls.  The game is reminiscent of Tetris Attack, with some Bejeweled thrown in.  The artwork is lovely, and the game is a blast to play.  After an hour, I could have played another hour easy.

 

Other stuff:

Destiny launched the new Crimson Days event thing.  I was able to log on and play with one of my many PSN friends.  The event is a PvP 2v2 deathmatch with revives.  First team to win 5 are the champs.  Our first match went badly 0-5, but we started picking things up quickly.  I’m not a great team player, but I know my role.  I run in and while I get killed, my teammate cleans up.  We had one match (remember there are basically 2 kills per round for a total of 10 for a win) where my teammate had 16 kills and I had two.  That was pretty embarrassing, but most matches we both had 7 or 8 each.  I got a special shader and a new emblem, but I will have to play again tonight in order to finally achieve the coveted ‘chocolate ghost’.

candyGhost